Man makes his plans and God laughs...

That was a common saying of a friend of mine. How true it is. I go back to work monday after 4 1/2 months of medical leave. I don't know if I am ready or if it is even possible to prepare to be ready. I have been working out a bit, trying to eat right. I only get really sick about 3 or 4 times a week now instead of that many every day. I can only hope and pray that it doesn't happen while I am driving. I am almost out of painkillers that I only take at night, but my stomach seems more accepting of ibuprofen recently, so maybe I'll just take that.

So this whole time I have been scheduled for day shift and when I went to drop off paperwork yesterday, my boss told me that i will be working nights. AGAIN. I fucking hate night shift. That means no kung fu (again), no classes, and no seeing my kids and wife. that sucks.

My mom called me today. My dad had gone in for a test on his heart and they are going to do bypass surgery on Monday or Tues. The amount of emotions that welled up was surprising. I had thought that when it came down to it, I wouldn't feel anything for the man I have been at odds with my entire life. The strongest feeling is that I really don't want to care. And IF I do care, how much do I show it? What if these really are his last days? I do not want him to go when I have all this unanswered baggage. And if I care now and he gets better, will he expect me to cater to his every emotional whim from here on out? Motherfucker.