Rant

I want to know what it is about people that when you mention that it is really disturbing to attend church on a regular basis, they freak out. Why do Christians feel that they have to apply a scripture verse or two to every freaking problem and the verses are all the obvious ones. Damn I could do that too. All I need is a topical concordance. If that was the real issue and verses applied like bandaids really worked I could be whole already. The problem is I am hemmoraging in several areas and verses don't make a good tourniquet. I am quietly bleeding out and the bandaids make me itch.

FTW. I hate this life and want to burn it to the ground and start as someone else. Does all this mean that I am not "pursuing" God? No. Does this mean that I have lost faith? Maybe. Faith in people and some faith in God. I know He is there. Does He care? Sometimes it doesn't seem like it. No. I know He does. I have nothing and I am nothing in my skin, but that is where I am supposed to let God live through me. But right now, my life experiences don't seem to match up with a good God, so trusting Him is very difficult.