The sadness deepens

I moved some more boxes from my old place today. My dad had emailed me last night stating that he "At this point he wanted nothing to do with me...period" and would I return a few select items along with anything else I may have borrowed. So after I loaded my borrowed van I drove his "stuff" to his house and dropped it off. This is the first time I have stepped foot in my parents' house since early January. It brought back so many memories. I felt so lost all of a sudden, without my parents as one of my major reference points. My mom told me to take all my artwork and art stuff with me. When I asked about what exactly this means, she proceeded to tell me that its over as far as she is concerned. She "knows" counseling won't help and I won't talk to dad (who signed his given name on his email). Blah blah blah, guilt trip, guilt trip, blah blah. Apparently its my fault all this is happening and that my father was doing good til I ruined his life. She said that he was her other half and she is choosing to stick with him and whatever he decides to do or not do. In other words even if that means losing relationships with her kids, she will follow my dad to the ends of the earth. Which is where he is running.

This sucks. This hurts. I am too depressed to drink.

Portishead's "Only You" is my theme music today.