Goodbye darling

My Granny passed at approx. 10:20 EST this morning. My grandpa has decided to creamate and go with a memorial service in his home. My brother's tone was flat and hollow. Memories of her wisped through my mind at strange intervals today. I dug out every picture I had of her (which are precious few) and remembered her voice, her touch, the way a smile would play at the corner of her lips when she would try to act stern or serious. She was always thinking of others and yet unending craved attention herself. It was that all familiar longing that is in each of us. To be recognized. To be special. To be loved and cherished.

I hope grandpa will be ok eventually. They were an example to me of how a marriage should look like after it has whethered many a storm. They fought and yet let the other be who they were, with no real intention or expectation of changing the other. Every morning my grandpa would get up early and make coffee that was so strong it would peel paint, bring it up to my granny on a tray with her cigs and sugar and milk. Then as granny settled in, he would proceed to read every single comic strip out loud, explaining expressions and settings so that she got the context. Then onto the crossword puzzle which he nearly completed every day in an amazing short amount of time. This scene has been repeated almost every morning for years on end.

Often I would catch them dancing in the living room. My granny had an amazing music collection. She had a bigger stereo system than most teenagers I know. She loved music. It brought such life to her eyes. She would sit and smile with her eyes closed and hold her cigarette till it was nothing but ash, yet still intact. The nuances I like to think tickled something deep inside her.

We used to joke "it's in the genes" even though I am not related by blood. I am more connected to her than most blood relatives.

I miss her.